September 16, 2016

  • New blog problems

    Why is it so hard to leave xanga (for me)?

    I think I found a place where I can easily add pics and post from my phone- WordPress!

    Attempt #2 to move:

  • moved post

    Don't get too excited. I'm trying to see if, by actually moving my blog over to blogger, I will write more. With so much time on the road, I've been longing for a blog that actually has mobile capabilities. Let's just see how it goes.

    Tonight, I am working what is known as an "all-nighter." They are pretty easy if you like feeling like a vampire. You work the last flight out of the night and then one of the first flights back in the morning. That's it. Just two legs with everyone sleeping. They are easy to pick up and easy to drop because of time-legality parameters. Its a good way to crush your sleep cycle for 6 hrs of pay. That's 6 hrs of pay and no need for a dog-sitter.

    I've been feeling a bit financially insecure lately so my natural reaction is just to work myself to the bone. What else can one do? After this trip I will have worked 12 straight calendar days in a row. That's not to say I haven't had 24 hrs in between some trips, but...

    Why? My lifestyle is about to change. For the better, but change always rattles me so much. I have four roommates right now in my 2nd bedroom. This is known as a crashpad in the industry. A crashpad is a place you sleep 1-2 nights a week between flights when you commute to your base airport from another city. Over the past three plus years of running this operation I have had the "pleasure" of living with 12 different people (I might be missing a few). I've probably actually liked only about half of them. I have had enough of this. Since my longest standing roommate is moving out, I decided to downsize to just one roommate. You know, the way normal people live. This is all happening in October. I will actually collect less rent than I do now, but I imagine the luxury of not having so many randoms in my living space will be worth it. That doesn't mean that everyone is paying me though. I'm tired of others' financially folly becoming my problem. And so, off to work with me.

    Also, there is pressure from the voices inside and outside of my head to buy a house. Why must I strive? I'm not sure it will ever happen, but the fantasy of having a garden lingers. If only my boyfriend's "language of love" was the one where he gives you money.... then maybe I wouldn't feel so insecure and alone. That's strictly financially speaking, of course.

    Yeah right. Who am I kidding?

September 5, 2016

August 25, 2016

  • Brazil and back

    I feel like the world's patience with my belly-aching and complaining is about to run thin (if it hasn't already). Through some miracle of accidents and providence I was able to switch around my schedule to spend a week in Brazil and then go back to Pennsylvania for an event for my dad. If this sounds exactly like my life in March, well then congrats, you've been paying attention. This time, friends were going getting married in Brasilia. Not only were my band of airline friends and I treated to a free "farmhouse" to stay in, we were ushered around the city on a great tour. Brasilia is a very interesting capital as it was totally planned in the 60s... instead of growing all chaotically like most cities. We also got to go see Sweden vs USA women's soccer in the Olympics. Who knew all the events weren't in Rio? I think I caught the fever, I might try and go to the Olympics from now on.

    The wedding itself was incredible. I felt like I was on the set of a soap opera- all the guests were dressed to the 9s and 10s and even the old people were beautiful. Welcome to Brazil, I guess. It was a gorgeous and fun garden wedding and I'm happy I was invited. The more time I spend in Brazil, the more I love it.

    I managed to get first class going and coming, which means I actually got some sleep (and champagne). This came in helpful on the way back. Once in PA, I drove my mother to surgery in Pittsburgh and then back and forth. Her thyroid cancer removed and my dad's PET scan coming back clean means that for the first time in over a year BOTH OF MY PARENTS ARE CANCER FREE. I wish I could take a moment to exhale, but there is just no time. Now that I've done nothing but play and rent cars, it is time to pay the piper. I picked up some more trips and I'm just going to straight work away the rest of the month. I'm not hating it though- another trip to MCO and LGA means more friend run-ins. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my friends.

August 2, 2016

  • elections

    I just got the sheet to select local and state officials in Florida. Its hard to decide. I wish there was a site that would just tell me whom they are backing. Come on- help me out Family Planning and some environmental group! There probably is one of these sites, let me know if you have one. Just like an easy score sheet for this people. On a level 1-10 on being politically engaged I only have enough energy for about a 5-6.

    I've also "elected" to re-join the world of online dating. Well, kinda. I got the app Clover. Its like Tinder+. I fucking hate it. I hate talking to these guys. One dude already wanted to meet for coffee. Urgh. And he has a cute little 4 year old daughter. I can just see it all now. Fall in love, something happens, I loose two people instead of one. Maybe three- the idea of myself as a step mother. Fuck that, I'll make my own coffee. I'm definitely going to die alone. All this because the love of my life is weak and cannot apologize or make changes. He is also out of cell range this week on some outdoorsy quest in the mountains. I suppose it will be healthy for me to unplug from him for a while.

    I also had the most insane day of my three plus years of working. They called me at 4:30am to jet up to Philly to work one of their trips on a plane I've never flown before. It was intimidating, but I got through it. I skipped my deadhead back and made it to my own bed by midnight. I'm so glad I forgot to turn my phone off vibrate because those disorganized vexers called me again at 3:30am the next day. ha ha! Didn't get me this time, did you? And now I have a line again in August so you can't fucking with me (as much).

    At least I'm having middling luck manipulating my schedule. I got to visit with Katie in Orlando (formerly of Gainesville and Jeju, Korea) and tomorrow I get to see Lindsay in Minneapolis for a lunch date. Hooray!

    Dad, still in hospital. Not doing horribly though, so I'm getting more sleep at night. At least when crew scheduling isn't calling.

July 28, 2016

  • sitting with unconfortable feelings

    Today's theme in yoga class was sitting with uncomfortable feelings. We have talked about this before and it has become my mantra in dealing with my romantic relationship as well as my professional and family life. Nothing seems to be moving forward; no apology, dad is yet again in the hospital, now with pneumonia (thankfully because those lung spots could have been something else), and my work trips still overlap my plans for August. I will have to carry on and wait patiently in this place of discomfort for -- well forever. I guess there will always be something wrong. I just have to get my mind right enough to keep dealing with it. Not the most uplifting post. At least I was able to help two friends in little ways this week. At least there is that.

    I called out sick earlier this week due to continued Central American intestinal disorder, but I think I'm mostly better now. I will be flying the skies again tomorrow, but I won't know where for another couple of hours. Until then: my to-do list and my scrapbook await.

July 22, 2016

  • last minute

    Not too much to write about. I got called into work last night last minute and was given about 1 hour and 15 mins to sleep in the hotel before van time this morning. Needless to say, much of today was spent sleeping.

    I had a fabulous layover with Saferia this week in San Fransisco. What a beautiful time. I'm completely impressed at how composed she is during her life changes. It makes me feel like a huge wuss actually. lol.

    With all my friends going through so much at the moment, its hard to stop my head from spinning. I just hope I can be there for them.

    Later this evening, I'm heading back up with the Buffalo area to meet up with the man and attend a music festival tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a large time even though we are both afflicted with stomach issues. I haven't been right since I've been back from Costa Rica. I must be fighting a parasite or something. Hopefully this will lead to weight loss for all the pain and misery it has caused me. I swear, I will try not to eat any more unwashed roadside fruit for as long as I can remember. He, on the other hand, just refuses to accept that he is lactose intolerant. Unless karma is catching up to him for being such a shit this past month. muah ha ha ha ha ha!

    Here's to friends and the jumpseat! The only things that save me in this world of uncertainty.

July 17, 2016

  • The other side

    Hello from the other side of all that insanity last week. After getting some pretty devastating and surprising news last Wednesday, night in Niagara Falls (this place is a curse to me) I wasn't sure I could make it through Thursday or the rest of the wedding. I did though. I did it even when I have trying to wind gauze around my dad's arm as he dripped half a bag on to the porch. Even when I had to take comfort crying alone in my car between visits to relatives. I took comfort in learning how to shoot a rifle, listening to Christian radio and arranging flowers. God, guns and nature. Nothing like a little time in Western PA to set you right.

    I could honestly write a mini novel about all the events that happened. But what it boils down to is-- the wedding went really, really well. I did a good job. I may have even re-connected with some people from high school. It was kinda nice being the pretty fish in the bowl for a change.... since I am technically the last single woman in Pennsylvania. I guess this is how the women in China who are my age feel. Enjoy it while it lasts!

    It was hard and hard and harder to see my dad struggle so much. Part of me feels like I should move closer. who knows.

    I managed to plan a pretty amazing Costa Rica trip too. I even managed to escape the wrath of the crew scheduling gods and score myself an extra day off work. What can I say about Costa Rica? If you need to heal and hide-- its perfect. It was my first time driving in a foreign country (unless you count Canada- I don't). I did OK. Buket is fun and delightful to travel with and it was more than I could have hoped for. We saw so many sloths!! We also saw and stayed around so many other natural things. I LOVE it there. LOVE IT.

    Now I am home and recovering from a little vacation-belly. I am about to go to the airport to pick up the man/torturer of my life. He is surprising me with a quick trip to Charlotte. Let's see how this goes. In the meantime, I'll just keep my head and my heart in Costa Rica. Okay, okay, okay ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok

July 6, 2016

  • wedding bells!

    Not for me! My brother's wedding is this weekend! Yay!

    All I have to do for the next week is

    *try to have an honest and not emotional talk with the man about our "future" or lack thereof, this is going to suck pretty hard

    *do all the flowers for the wedding

    *plan and deliver a toast at the reception

    *keep my parents from falling apart

    *keep myself from falling apart because my parents are both so ill

    *plan a trip to Costa Rica

    *repeat not falling apart step again

    good problems, right? Also, I went to Paris the other day. Yep- I finally got called for the Paris trip. Its been my dream this whole time. I think I managed to work it together pretty well work-wise. International work is so much different and can be very intimidating. Then I got to walk around Paris the whole day while Eurocup madness was going in the background. I went to my favorite neighborhood and ate snails and champagne. I got back in time to spend the 4th with friends who just moved to Charlotte. It was wonderful.

June 23, 2016

  • wheels up

    This could probably be the title of all my posts, lol. I suppose I don't have anything in particular to write about. My dad may get out of the hospital again today. My brother's wedding looms closer and closer. I'm back on reserve for July, which is sapping my will to live. The dogs are doing fine, though, I think one of my dog sitters is crazy. I was just out walking them when she rolled up beside me in her car and tried to shake me down for some more dog sitting days. Jeez. I'm leaving on another work trip soon, Lady! OK!?!

    In friends' news, the man and I got to meet up with Mallory and Sean in Dallas, which was the good part about this god awful trip he needed to do to fix something for work. Buket passed her dissertation, which is no surprise, but wonderful just as well. The man of my life is still here and working away in the living room. If only this was more of an all the time thing and not just once a month or whatever. Other friends bought a house here in Charlotte. I can't wait until I have real-life friends that live in the same city I do! How novel! Also, a delicious new brewery opened this week right by my house. Just tried it out last night and I am very, very, very pleased with life right now.

    This brewery might just get me through reserve life. It just might. Cheers.

September 2016
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