Today's theme in yoga class was sitting with uncomfortable feelings. We have talked about this before and it has become my mantra in dealing with my romantic relationship as well as my professional and family life. Nothing seems to be moving forward; no apology, dad is yet again in the hospital, now with pneumonia (thankfully because those lung spots could have been something else), and my work trips still overlap my plans for August. I will have to carry on and wait patiently in this place of discomfort for -- well forever. I guess there will always be something wrong. I just have to get my mind right enough to keep dealing with it. Not the most uplifting post. At least I was able to help two friends in little ways this week. At least there is that.

I called out sick earlier this week due to continued Central American intestinal disorder, but I think I'm mostly better now. I will be flying the skies again tomorrow, but I won't know where for another couple of hours. Until then: my to-do list and my scrapbook await.

Not too much to write about. I got called into work last night last minute and was given about 1 hour and 15 mins to sleep in the hotel before van time this morning. Needless to say, much of today was spent sleeping.

I had a fabulous layover with Saferia this week in San Fransisco. What a beautiful time. I'm completely impressed at how composed she is during her life changes. It makes me feel like a huge wuss actually. lol.

With all my friends going through so much at the moment, its hard to stop my head from spinning. I just hope I can be there for them.

Later this evening, I'm heading back up with the Buffalo area to meet up with the man and attend a music festival tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a large time even though we are both afflicted with stomach issues. I haven't been right since I've been back from Costa Rica. I must be fighting a parasite or something. Hopefully this will lead to weight loss for all the pain and misery it has caused me. I swear, I will try not to eat any more unwashed roadside fruit for as long as I can remember. He, on the other hand, just refuses to accept that he is lactose intolerant. Unless karma is catching up to him for being such a shit this past month. muah ha ha ha ha ha!

Here's to friends and the jumpseat! The only things that save me in this world of uncertainty.

Hello from the other side of all that insanity last week. After getting some pretty devastating and surprising news last Wednesday, night in Niagara Falls (this place is a curse to me) I wasn't sure I could make it through Thursday or the rest of the wedding. I did though. I did it even when I have trying to wind gauze around my dad's arm as he dripped half a bag on to the porch. Even when I had to take comfort crying alone in my car between visits to relatives. I took comfort in learning how to shoot a rifle, listening to Christian radio and arranging flowers. God, guns and nature. Nothing like a little time in Western PA to set you right.

I could honestly write a mini novel about all the events that happened. But what it boils down to is-- the wedding went really, really well. I did a good job. I may have even re-connected with some people from high school. It was kinda nice being the pretty fish in the bowl for a change.... since I am technically the last single woman in Pennsylvania. I guess this is how the women in China who are my age feel. Enjoy it while it lasts!

It was hard and hard and harder to see my dad struggle so much. Part of me feels like I should move closer. who knows.

I managed to plan a pretty amazing Costa Rica trip too. I even managed to escape the wrath of the crew scheduling gods and score myself an extra day off work. What can I say about Costa Rica? If you need to heal and hide-- its perfect. It was my first time driving in a foreign country (unless you count Canada- I don't). I did OK. Buket is fun and delightful to travel with and it was more than I could have hoped for. We saw so many sloths!! We also saw and stayed around so many other natural things. I LOVE it there. LOVE IT.

Now I am home and recovering from a little vacation-belly. I am about to go to the airport to pick up the man/torturer of my life. He is surprising me with a quick trip to Charlotte. Let's see how this goes. In the meantime, I'll just keep my head and my heart in Costa Rica. Okay, okay, okay ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok

Not for me! My brother's wedding is this weekend! Yay!

All I have to do for the next week is

*try to have an honest and not emotional talk with the man about our "future" or lack thereof, this is going to suck pretty hard

*do all the flowers for the wedding

*plan and deliver a toast at the reception

*keep my parents from falling apart

*keep myself from falling apart because my parents are both so ill

*plan a trip to Costa Rica

*repeat not falling apart step again

good problems, right? Also, I went to Paris the other day. Yep- I finally got called for the Paris trip. Its been my dream this whole time. I think I managed to work it together pretty well work-wise. International work is so much different and can be very intimidating. Then I got to walk around Paris the whole day while Eurocup madness was going in the background. I went to my favorite neighborhood and ate snails and champagne. I got back in time to spend the 4th with friends who just moved to Charlotte. It was wonderful.