This time tomorrow, GOD willing, I will be halfway to St. Lucia.

I hope it is fun, sunny, romantic and memorable. No injuries, please. Also, I really need to get on the plane on Wednesday back here. Fingers crossed.

This quiz is both awesome and a little hard. Only 15 questions. I only got 9.... eek! I am slipping (the average is 6 though, so I feel kinda OK)

http://www.theguardian.com/world/quiz/2014/apr/22/north-korea-quiz

How did you do?

I'm not sure if you can embed things any more, but I'm going to try a few things here:

What do you get when you mix Gwen Stefani circa 2005 with Katy Perry's wardrobe and Ellie Goulding's hair? This is AWFUL and not original. Plus the Japanese is non-sense: "Everyone is the best, thank you! Cute cute cute cute" Seriously? Avril, you are better than this!

Now that Lent is over, and I've managed to read the New Testament, thanks to my Bible app which lets me know exactly how far I am behind on my plan, I can say a couple things.

1) reading the Bible is good for going to church-- its like actually doing to the reading before going to class

2) reading the New Testament makes me feel bad about myself, in spite of all the references to planting things-- especially as I am a person who lists drunkenness, debauchery, carousing and adultery as her main forms of entertainment. Also, I enjoyed reading about Paul's shipwreck far more than his long-winded letters.

Sigh, I'm going to hell. I picked the wrong week to pause drinking

...how did he know?

I just had one of those bad days you have as a flight attendant. I was going to have a super long overnight in a place where I could see my beloved. We were on the way. We were in the AIR. Then some mechanical malfunction happened and brought my 20 hour date crashing down, though luckily not the plane. As the crew waited for the next NINE hours in the airport my enthusiasm for this job and for life in general waned. At least the used our plane for some bomb-sniffing practice

When we got back to Charlotte at last, the plan was just to pick up where the trip had left off tomorrow, leaving me time to go back to my own bed for the night (a small comfort considering). I was in the middle of writing my would-have-been date for the night to let him know I made it back when I got a text from him!

"Wow, long day for you. Glad you're back home at least "

Me: "Wait, how did you know? I was still just writing you when you texted...??"

"Just stalking you is all, miss fight #2013 "

Me [burst into tears inappropriately on the bus] "I love you so much"

How did he know I've always wanted someone who will kinda check up on me for no reason? Gotta love that USAirways flight status mobile website. He surprised me before when I've been stressed about getting on a flight that looked full for personal travel, "yay! 11D!" (the site tells you what seat standbys are awarded)

Sometimes this guy seems so 'in-my-head' its ridiculous. Is this what its like when someone "gets" you? I think I've only ever felt this way and shared this much with other women (not like that, pervs). I don't think I shall ever get over this one. I feel the knife cutting deeper into my heart than it has been cut before. Clearly, I am doomed. Alas! Heyhat!

Then I went on a brisk walk for an hour (The outdoors! They do exist!) and saw the most beautiful tree in the world

March has proven to be a much better and busier month. I started the month with a 5 day vacation on Daytona Beach with my Gainesville friends. I drank too much and got a tan. Being around everyone--that's what its all about.

I worked two back-to-back extra trips right after that and pretty much worked every day since then. I've NEVER flown so much in one month, it is INSANE. I can't believe I'm actually going to have to work this hard once I am off of the reserve list and actually have my own schedule.

Lots of abnormal stuff happened on flights this month too;
*someone was arrested on my flight
*someone got sick and we had to divert and land in a different airport
*the windshield broke inflight and we had to return to Charlotte
*2 air marshals transported a prisoner on my flight in handcuffs
*the first 2 legs were cancelled one day and I got to go back to sleep for 3 hours

I'm getting so much experience! I guess I should, as its been officially a year since I started this gig.

St. Patrick's Day weekend was phenomenal and very memorable-- my mystery man came to town and we celebrated! It was also sort of a milestone in our relationship. I have to say, I've never been happier with him (or possibly anyone) I feel like I'm walking around on a pink heart-shaped cloud most of the time. It is absolutely disgusting and I plan to wallow in it as long as fortune permits.

March has been a super month for romance, fun with friends, making money and getting new roommates. I actually got to visit a lot of people this month--- you know who you are! (Tara, Ed, Jackie, Ashley and Mandy And I'm happy. I can't believe it, but I actually feel fucking happy. Who knew?

I'm glad it is the shortest month. I guess it hasn't been all bad.

First week: he was here. Despite getting called for a surprise 3 day trip and spending another night puking after I ate raw oysters, oh and getting into another no-boys-allowed tiff with the second roommate, our time together was good. It's always good-no, great. I saw the Falls again with him too on a BUF layover. A cruel irony that I actually seek out and TRY, really try to get BUF layovers now. Why couldn't he live in Florida with the rest of the cool kids?

Week 2: That big storm hit the Carolinas and I was trapped in Ft. Lauderdale for two whole days. I know-- my life is so hard. Normally I would be in hog heaven, just a pig-in-shit over this kind of fortune. Getting paid to lay by the pool!? When I was supposed to be in PIT? When my own Conquistador happened to be in FLL too!? AMAZING. EXCEPT, I was supposed to be back at home working at the flowershop for Valentine's Day. The level of guilt and anxiety I was feeling because of this cannot be rationalized. I tried everything to get back there. I had to rent a car even to get to my apartment as all buses had stopped. There was no way I was going to trust my transport to some southern cabbie when I learned to drive in the snow either. After 2 rental cars, being #57 on the standby list to Orlando and pedal-to-the-medal racing, I arrived on Valentine's Day around 1pm to discover that the rest of the team was there until 5:30 the night before and the owner had to be ambulanced to the ER after a minor heart attack and severe dehydration (and stress?) Level of guilt rationalized. I was on duty three days after that (which means I'm supposed to be back in base in Charlotte), but I just really wanted to stay, so I gambled and won and was able to work three more days at the shop and see a lot of friends. It turned into a super week. I was really missing B, so it felt like my heart had healed a bit.

Week 3: I went to London. I don't know how I managed to get this extra trip, but I did. Success. The plane was only 1/2 full both going and coming, so it was EASY and we had super long crew rest breaks. I watched 3 movies and napped and ate everything in site. Wonderful.

Week 4 (present day): All 3 of my roommates were gone all week. All of them for 4 days. Odd and GREAT since I'm a burnt-out after roommate drama. My friend up the road, another flight attendant invited me along for a one-week pass to the YMCA. The Y here is super nice, btw. I've been working out like a mad dog all week. I'm so sore that I might not be able to lift my own suitcases onto the plane today. It has actually been pretty fun spending this much time with her. I start another 3 day trip I picked up this afternoon, then I'm off on my fantastic Florida vacation after that. Stay tuned.

My shit-bird roommate moves out on the 7th and I am currently trying to find a replacement. Wish me luck. Until then, I stalk and stalk the trade board trying to get work. MUST.PAY.THE.RENT.

You have the responsibility to remain silent
as everything you say can and will be used against you

You have the responsibility to pay for your apartment
if you cannot afford your own apartment,
your life decisions will be dictated by your roommates

After all I sacrificed to give us this place in Charlotte and all I do to maintain it-- this is where I am left. I don't even want to go there. I feel like a loser that has nothing to offer any visitor; no car, no shelter, no food. What is the point of even having an address at all? Will home always be just a place to escape from?

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." --J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye: last line

... it was already the worst, this happens. I feel like another Aquarius who likes to exclaim, "betrayal!"

There is a thin, thin line between intervention and bullying.

My inner-awareness narrative has become tiresomely Old-Testament-like.

Luckily, there are still some allies out there. I wonder if I can count myself among them?

Things have been dark.

Right before my birthday, I got sick, really sick and couldn't do much of anything for 3-4 days. I guess I did sleep and catch up on The Walking Dead, but I missed my birthday party. On my actually birthday, Sunday, I had picked up an extra trip for some more cash. I ended up doing first class for the first time. Maybe it was because I was already feeling a bit weak and undervalued in other parts of my life, but I think working first class made me feel even worse--like a servant. I had a long layover and wanted to go see the Hunger Games movie, but felt it might be depressing to see a movie alone and frivolous to spend $10 on myself. My paramour calls on my bday and tells me about this amazing new thing he got for--another woman. A friend uses my name in a rumor to hurt another friend. I guess I'm acceptable collateral damage now? Who does one trust these days?

Self worth plummeting. "Pull up! Pull up! Pull up!" I hear the autopilot bleep from the cockpit. I don't know how.

I feel like everything is such a hassle. Been dealing with the cable co. all day just to get internet because I downgraded my service trying to save $. Someone bitched me out on ebay because one of the books I'm selling to try to buy groceries got lost in the mail. I'm still too much of a coward to tell my Aunt that I got divorced.

I countdown 4 more days until the next round of roommate stress-drama starts. God I could loose a roommate and rent money. Wish me luck! I feel like I'm barely making it, hanging by a thread.