sunny

 Despite having a strange, long and emotional weekend where the only thing that would soothe me was Roy Orbison's Blue Bayou.  That man has the voice of an angel

(-- The answer is yes, I am getting more and more strange)

it seems like the sun is coming out again-- literally and figuratively.  Today looks like it might even be productive

This is good, I need a day off of "crazy" because:

1) tomorrow my mom is having major 12 hour back surgery-- so I'm sure I will be fairly freaked out until tomorrow night when I get the status update (I'm already starting to lose sleep)

2) My USAirways interview is Wednesday at 9, but I fly out at 5:20am..... ohhhhh, how to have hair and make-up look good at 500am??  

I'm going to need your thoughts/prayers/positive energy/ constant attention & distractions for the next 48 hrs.

Thanks,

justgotspaid

Poinsettia time

 
 Every year I go with my friend, DT and now A to the university's horticulture department's poinsettia sale.  It has become a little tradition

a beautiful display this year

Then, I come back to my office and post the photos on xanga... another tradition

I'm bringing home my usual red and white

You can see I'm taking casual Friday seriously this year

oh, the little things

Last night in Ballet I got a compliment on my turns.  Oh how rare!  I'm really going to savor it.  I must have been working hard because my feet muscles are sore today.

This is another bird on my Christmas tree.  It's so cute; made of cotton and pieces of wood.  I have a weakness for bird ornaments.

**on another note, I seem to be having some sort of loneliness attack.  I am acutely, acutely missing my friends.  I wish I could gather them all together from all around the world (and country and town) and just have some big 10 minute group hug.  Wow, I think I just teared up a little bit thinking about it.  I really should get back to drinking more.

Just one more reason to get this flight attendant job.  Also, I don't think I have the temperament for a desk-job.  It allows me way to much time to sit here and think about things (and stalk people on facebook).  I need a busy job with a bunch of people talking to me all day--probably why I like working at the flowershop so much-- business, friends and doing things with your hands.

Maybe it runs in the family-- my dad quit his bank job to work on the farm.  Said he didn't like sitting all day.  I REALLY understand that now.

And furthermore!  When did I re-gain the ability to feel loneliness again?  I thought I conquered that in 2009 on the pilgrimage.  When did I fall from emotional self-sufficiency? 

12-12-12!

 Kaaaaaaaakaaaaaaaaaa!  (sound of triumph)

I got a call back from USAirways scheduling my in-person interview!!!  [trying not to get too exciting, trying, trying, trying, trying, trrryyyying, FAIL!] 

They will fly me out the morning of Dec. 12 (one week away) and back that night.  I can't believe how fast this is all happening.  I really need to start getting more stuff done in case I get the job.  I should get my Christmas/new year cards out!  I should buy my presents!  I should actually do some work around the office!  

So now I wait for my flight info. 

Questions:

1) should I take a personal day or call in sick?   I kind of decimated my vacation days in Turkey recently.... yes, I am evil

2) The HR rep told me to bring some reading material as there might be some down time.  Should I bring something that will make me look well-adjusted and smart, or just bring what I am actually reading-- World War Z?  You know I love my zombies.

3) I should take out my nose-ring right?  I already can't help the fact that I have purple & platinum hair in my passport photo

4) Hair up or down?

project apartment

Less than a month ago I was still sleeping on an air mattress with all my belongs scattered on the floor. While I still have a long way to go, I'm happy with the progress made on the new living space. One of the best things about having a roommate (particularly this roommate) is that she is so fun to work on the apartment with. Without the motivation of my cheerful and enthusiastic roommate, I might still be living on the floor.

Instead I got my first Christmas tree.  I know, I know!  I'm like the original Grinch and I actually got a tree.

I think the tree's theme; Sparkle-birds and cupcakes helped to warm my heart.

Speaking of things that are bright and beautiful, we also hung the Turkish mosiac lamps that I bought in the bazaar.

My friend gave me these side tables/ coffee tables, whatever they are when she moved out. They were possibly the ugliest tables I have ever seen, but free is free.

My roommate and I nicknamed the color "shit taupe" and decided to paint them bright turquoise instead.  So we picked our color from a handful of paint samples, sanded them down and...

first coat

AFTER:

The finished table next to my ridiculously awesome floral coach. 

We took it a step further: painted some frames (to match the table) and put extra fabric from the sofa in them. I think this is hilarious.

I love where this apartment is going.

Cumhuriyet

 I know I probably stole my own thunder by putting a lot of these photos on facebook, but oh well.

While I am talking about favorites, my favorite day of the trip was probably Oct. 29-- which is Republic day in Turkey-- the 89th celebration of the day when Turkey became official recognized as a republic (1923).

because of this big national holiday, there were banners of the Turkish flag and Atatürk everywhere!

I had to have fun with the color filter on my camera

This year, this came directly after Kurban Bayram (Turkey's Eid), so the whole week felt like one big party after another-- my friend was off of work (grad school) which is why I came at this time in the first place.  What I am trying to say is-- my timing was amazingly good for this trip.

After hanging around, we made our way to Ortakoy pier to catch the fireworks display.  Everyone was handed a Turkish flag.

My video of the pre-party flag waving

The fireworks show started with the huge bridge raining down a cascade of light

After the fireworks, we hussled through the crush of people on the pier and caught part of one concert and then headed across town to catch the Goksel concert! 

I kept seeing this sign everywhere, so I got my friend to take me to see her.  Goksel is my favorite Turkish pop singer.  I LOVE her!

Having the chance to see her in concert (free) was amazing!  I wasn't even very far from the stage.

"Goksel I love you, Ilker"

Me and all teenage boys love her ha ha ha.

After the concert it poured rain and I spent the night sleeping on a bench in the airport waiting for my flight to Antioch. 

on a boat

 Another one of my favorite things that I did in Istanbul was the boat tour.  

One of the best ways to see some of the city is to take a ferry tour down the Bosphorus.  I love any chance to ride a ferry and take photos, so this was perfect.

I fancy myself an artist

Just look at that skyline and sunset!

The timing was perfect--the tour was about 3 hours long and I got both day and night views!

smoke gets in your eyes

 "You don't need to sign in," she said, "I remember you.  Sarah, right?"  As I wondered just what in the hell that was supposed to mean, I noticed they re-did the lobby; new chairs, a new TV and a decorative dividing wall.  "I wish main campus had enough surplus money to spend on decorations, much less not firing all our faculty and staff," I thought to myself. I was here for the six-months-since-the-last-time eye check up following my PRK surgery in April.  The surgery, which marks almost to the moment where everything in my world shifted and I started a cycle of confused lunacy that left me where I am today-- living on my own. I distinctly remember wondering what  my life would be like by the time I came back here when I was handed that appointment card in May. I'm fairly sure I would not have guessed this. November 29th.... that seemed so far away. 

A wave of nausea washed over me as another doctor-in-training pulled back the lights that were shining in my eyes long enough for me to see my own eye-veins. 

"Any changes in your medical history since last time"

"Nope, everything is the same," I answered, thinking how completely untrue that was at the same time.  Since the last time pretty much everything in my life had changed except my medical history (and my job).

"Are you satisfied with the results?"

"Yes-very"  Yeah, well.... the results of everything that has happened since May?  Jury's out on that one.

After another doctor (or doc-to-be) looked at my eyes, the doctor-doctor came in, checked me out and told me that a cloud had formed in my left eye.  My vision is still perfect, but now, because of the cloud, I am to take steroid eye drops four times a day.  Great.  Another doctor-in-waiting came in to see my cloudy cornea.  One of the drawbacks to getting the advanced cared offered at a university hospital is that all matters of one's body become learning opportunities.  I look forward to the time when at least all matters of my heart won't turn into "learning opportunities."  

Another trip to the CVS and back to work.  I wonder what my life will be like when I go back to the eye doctor in 2 months?

Until then remember: nothing chases the clouds away like steroids.  

Airways!

 This morning, I started to obsess over the application that I submitted to be a flight attendant last week.  I checked back on the website and saw that my application was "under review"  Then I googled  their HR department and I got to this glassdoor.com website whereon someone wrote that they already went to orientation and accepted the job.  Thinking I had missed my chance, I started to get depressed and think about how much I hate my job....especially went I went to a staff meeting. 

When I got out, some 1-866 number had called-- it was USAirways!  YESSS!  So I just called back, had a 10 min phone interview and now I am apparently moving onto the next round (which is to go to Charlotte, NC, I think).  They didn't have the times yet and said they would call back.  

WOWOWOW, I want this job.  I would be based out of Charlotte or D.C., thus maintaining my American Southeast preference AND wouldn't have the chance of being based out of some god-forsaken Detroit (uhum, Delta, United) or somewhere (but I don't HAVE to re-locate).  

oh please, please, please, please, please   Charlotte to Paris!!!  Charlotte to Paris!!!

[or Osaka, Istanbul, Dublin, Sydney, Reykjavik, Casablanca, Seoul.....]

strange day

 I started the day out at the dentist's office.  My last cleaning was Feb 27 and I laid there in the chair thinking about how much my life had changed since that time.  After my gums had been sufficiently poked and scraped, I was feeling strangely euphoric.  Maybe it was because the sun was out.  Maybe it was because I was able to abscond from work for the morning.  Who knows?  

I felt like I was getting my "me-ness" back for the first time since I lost it circa April-May 2012. 

I even saw a friend at lunch and caught up, which was great!  Then I solved a problem at work and I felt smart.  So... everything is going great UNTIL

1) I notice my ex, the good one, the 'one-that-got-away' one, got engaged recently.  Fucking facebook.  I commence to immediately eating icecream with my friend (a friend that I sat in the ER with this Saturday, who is still in a lot of pain, poor girl)

just when I'm feeling that I can almost deal with that because I manage to score a bookshelf from my friend in Women's Studies for my balcony (and if I am able to get hammered tonight)

then...

2) I finally open my email to find an extremely serious message from another friend, who I completely and  obliviously hurt.  I am a fool.  I had no idea.  I don't know how to fix this.  I had no idea I even did this!?  Does lack of intention help my case!?

It's too bad that we are already through the S's in storm names (Sandy), because hurricane Sarah seems to be causing her fair share of destruction and pain. There is nowhere to run, there is nowhere to hide from ..............myself.  

I wonder what Sam Adams is up to tonight?