Things have been dark.

Right before my birthday, I got sick, really sick and couldn't do much of anything for 3-4 days. I guess I did sleep and catch up on The Walking Dead, but I missed my birthday party. On my actually birthday, Sunday, I had picked up an extra trip for some more cash. I ended up doing first class for the first time. Maybe it was because I was already feeling a bit weak and undervalued in other parts of my life, but I think working first class made me feel even worse--like a servant. I had a long layover and wanted to go see the Hunger Games movie, but felt it might be depressing to see a movie alone and frivolous to spend $10 on myself. My paramour calls on my bday and tells me about this amazing new thing he got for--another woman. A friend uses my name in a rumor to hurt another friend. I guess I'm acceptable collateral damage now? Who does one trust these days?

Self worth plummeting. "Pull up! Pull up! Pull up!" I hear the autopilot bleep from the cockpit. I don't know how.

I feel like everything is such a hassle. Been dealing with the cable co. all day just to get internet because I downgraded my service trying to save $. Someone bitched me out on ebay because one of the books I'm selling to try to buy groceries got lost in the mail. I'm still too much of a coward to tell my Aunt that I got divorced.

I countdown 4 more days until the next round of roommate stress-drama starts. God I could loose a roommate and rent money. Wish me luck! I feel like I'm barely making it, hanging by a thread.

What would you do?

I checked the calendar to make sure that all my roommates were off of work and, hence, gone. I said, OK, come down Monday and he came. Something about celebrating my birthday week together. Then, surprise! One of my roommates announces that she will be back that night because she managed to pick up an extra trip starting on Tuesday morning.

No big deal, I thought. We can give her a ride back from the airport and then make ourselves scarce around the apartment. No deal. She said that she and her husband feel "very uncomfortable" about her staying in the apartment with another man there.

....uuhhhhhh, OK...... What does she think is going to happen?

So she says that she will just stay in a hotel that night.

....Aint nobody got $$ for that, I think. Plus, she pays to be here. I don't want to loose her as a roommate. Another flight attendant friend of ours that lives down the street offered to put her up. No deal. I feel like a shithead.

I see her the next day in the airport and she pulls me aside to let me know that she isn't mad at me, but "if he is going to be staying over a lot, I'm going to need to find somewhere else to live because I can't afford to stay in hotels."

"Is it just because he is a guy," I ask, "would it help if we slept separately or something?"

"No, its just not fair to my husband and I that a man would be around. Its just that he is a guy."

Conclusion-- so what, I either:

1) Can't have a boyfriend, my brother, father or 1/2 of my friends over in MY OWN HOUSE

-OR-

2) can't afford to cover the rent

>sad face<

I'm currently hanging out in Tuscaloosa, Alabama visiting my good friends E & Nigel. I'm having a fantastic time, but it all balances out the 30-or-so hours preceding my arrival.

After seeing the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, I woke up early the last day of my work trip with something on my mind that I couldn't turn off. Then our flight back from Greensboro was delayed because of the terrible weather. Then our plane to San Juan and back was suuuuper delayed getting out of NYC because of the terrible weather. So, I was sleep deprived and then had all this sitting around downtime which made me feel even more tired. We had another flight attendant join the SJU turn and she got on my last nerve. I usually don't have such a strong reaction to new people, but I wanted to punch her. I think they other FAs (flight attendants) did too. I was planning on taking the 1030pm flight to Alabama after getting in at 830, but we were so delayed, I missed the last flight and then had to wait an hour and 40 mins for the bus because the idiot driver crashed into the gate at the airport and a supervisor had to be called. I almost threw up on the ground walking back to the apartment I was so tired at 1am. That also could have been all the airplane food I ate though.

I planned to get on the 11:40am flight to Alabama, but the 10:30 bus never came due to all the craziness at the stupid-ass Panther game (did I mention I hate football?). During my time waiting at the stop, I had the pleasure of avoiding eye contact with the bottomless homeless man cleaning his ass with a towel on the bus stop bench and all the reveling tailgaters (note to self: NEVER sit on that bench again). The next bus was 25 mins late, so I didn't get the airport until 11:30.... missed the flight AND saw my irritating supervisor at the airport. Booked myself on the 1:00 flight, that had a mechanical, then another delay and FINALLY I got to Birmingham. I was so over it by that time. I looked at my numbers and decided it was safe to stay in Alabama during my on-duty time. (oooooohhhh bad girl)

BUT now everything is great. I missed Eleanor and Nigel a lot and I love their new house here and their giant cat named after Paul Pierce. It has been really nice to be in the same place for 4 nights in a row. It's almost unbelievable at this point. Its been nice to just hang out and eat a lot of great food.

I found this awesome beer with a Spade on it

And today we went to Moundville-- an ancient city where the long-lost inhabitants built these giant mounds mysteriously.

It was a cool day trip. I guess I have to leave tomorrow.... back to the sky

After a pretty good start to the year. I had an OK 3-day trip, another pretty cool day in Mexico and now I'm in St. Louis until later this afternoon. The hotel is right across from the Arch, so perhaps I'll wander over there and see it. I'm completely over all this winter business.

Christmas as a Flight Attendant on the road (Phoenix)

Roommate Judy and I celebrate New Year's Eve in Charlotte. Not shown... all the other craziness and silly string clean-up

I want this year to be a time where I make more memories than tears, so here goes. In my constant struggle for continuous self improvement:

2014 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS/GOALS

1) Visit 9 long distance friends

2) Read a book in Turkish

3) Learn 5 songs on the Mandolin

4) Pay off car and credit card

5) Learn how to make a couple of dishes with eggplant