6 months

 It is my 6 month anniversary of the eye surgery.  This surgery is how I mark time.  It seems like right after that happened, my happy and mostly contented life when completely haywire.  Half a year later, look where I am... still feeling crazy AND stressed about living on my own.  At least I leave for Turkey in a week.  There is that.

I can't help but wonder though.  What if Kyohei and I had managed to buy a house together?  Would I feel differently?  I would still be wearing contacts, probably wouldn't be going to Turkey right now... wouldn't have all this other drama....

If I could change everything, would I?

If you could have told me all of this back in March, I would never have believed it.  I wonder what March 2013 justgotspaid would say to me now?  Where will I be in 6 months?  What will be the condition of my heart and soul?

I have to have faith and try to focus.  I have to keep walking, right?  Just keep going?

This song is stuck in my head.  It feels like a balm for my broken spirit