offer fail
About that dream house. I decided taxes be damned, to go ahead and put an offer on it. Even my cheapo parents were in support of this. I called the realtor and we agreed to meet Sunday afternoon to sign the documents and put some money in escrow. This left me 2 nights; one to built up my hopes and dreams and the other to panic.
I handled this situation with the same grace and poise I usually muster in the face of life's major decisions and milestones. I went out, got obliterated at the bar and came home only to collapse on the floor in a pile of tears and self-loathing. Now that I am Scottish and all, I did this while watching Braveheart.
I had a recurring nightmare 3 times of some Lisa Frank looking pink and purple monster trying to destroy me. I woke up bathed in sweat. Unable to get back to sleep, I moved to couch to spend the next 5 hours in a foggy state of fear. Admitting to myself I that I was still far too drunk to go to church, I laid there until noon. I woke Kyohei up and then he hastily attempted to go over our budget. This caused the undesirable effect of Kyohei discovering how much money I waste every month on amusing myself.
Still, we went to realtor's to sign the papers and ask questions. As soon as we got there, she starts talking us out of this house AGAIN! Now it is because there is no record of the roof and A/C ever being updated. How easily our determination failed! Then we went to look at another house with a new roof and new A/C unit. I don't care if the damn house had fifteen new roofs on it. The entire thing could be brand new from the ground up, but the only thing that matters is location. I am very afraid of living somewhere where I could run for 20 minutes and still not reach a store.
I moved listlessly through the house like a shell-shocked zombie. As Kyohei cheerfully opened up all the appliances in the kitchen, I stared up at the obscenely large sattelite dish and wondered 1) were they trying to get a signal from Jupiter? 2) Is this really the alternative to my dream house? Maybe I'll just live in our 800 sq. ft apartment until I die. I also wondered whether or not it was time to seriously consider starting to smoke pot.
Kyohei called me out on acting "dark." "This isn't fun if you are going to be all quiet and dark," he says, "you're acting like someone died."
"Someone did die," I respond. "The person inside of me who had hopes and dreams."
Nothing like the dramatic to make your spouse wish they had married someone normal.
